You don't always need family

                      You don't always need family. 

Today I am posting a rant. I have something on my mind that's been bothering me for a few days now so, I am going to rant about it. 

This is about family. Just because you are bound to them by blood doesn't mean you have to have them involved in your life. Sometimes you're just better off without them in your life. Also, the family is not always blood, a family is who is there for you through thick and thin, people who actually are there for you when someone is talking shit behind your back; they'll defend you. They are people who listen to you and are loyal, dependable and trustworthy. THAT is what makes someone a REAL family. 

I'm sure a lot of you can relate when I say that family is the WORST kind of enemy you can have in life. They'll be the first to stab you in the back, talk shit about you and hurt you like no one else can. Sometimes you have to leave the family at the curb like the trash they treat you like; I've done it to my "Father's" entire side of the family and now, most likely to my Aunt on my mom's side of the family. 

I spoke about my Aunt in a previous post, if you want to know about my past with her, you need to go back to that post and read it. I'm not repeating myself, there's too much history there to write all over again. I will, however, give you a fast run down. 

As a teenager, my Aunt treated me like complete shit. So much so, I ran away 3 times because my mom and I lived with her and my mom refused to move away from her. Maybe because she needed financial help or because they were twins or both or some shit I don't know. Whatever the reason, she was ALWAYS around. She was abusive, hitting, punching, insulting, etc... I hated it when she was home from work, I was never allowed to do anything. 

After my mom passed away in 2004, I left Alberta and moved to Ontario and had very little contact with my Aunt who was still in Alberta. I would write to her once in a while and update her on what was going on in my life, give her my address, never got a response. Then I don't know, 4 or more years after I'd left, she called me and asked for my banking information to send money for Birthday's for myself and the kids and Christmas money... okay... I wasn't sure what the change of heart was but, cool. 

I was in a situation where I wanted to move back to Alberta with my kids in 2015. I was at a hotel with them and told my Aunt I wanted to go back and needed a place for us to stay until I found a place for us. She was okay with that so, we got on the Grey Hound bus and took a 2 day 8-hour ride from Ontario to Alberta; myself and 4 kids. It was a long and expensive ride. 

My Aunt picked us up at the bus station, took us to her place and showed us where we'd sleep. I'd been to her house many times as it was the same house she lived in with my mom before my mom passed away. She had me sleeping in my mom's old room; which was a bit spooky. 

My kids stayed in my Aunt's room and she, on the sofa in the living room. 

She was okay for the first few days then started to get moody and rude, making uncalled for rude comments to my kids and I. I was already looking for a place for my kids and me to live. I had found one just down the street from my Aunt, spoke to the man who owned the house, made arrangements to move in ASAP. I paid him 2 months' rent up front and moved out that night, after supper. Why so fast? Because I was NOT allowing my Aunt to talk down to my children and treat them like shit like she did to me. So, I packed up the little stuff we were able to get on the bus and moved into our new place. 

We didn't have any furniture, we went to a little store in town, bought a TV, a DVD player, some bedding and movies. I bought some kitchen needs so I could cook, some groceries and slowly, I was able to get things to furnish the house. 

I was able to gather things quite quickly. People found out that I was looking for items and would either donate them to the kids and me or sell them to me very cheaply. People in our small town were more than kind and generous. 

My Aunt was still being bitchy so, I did my best to just ignore her and not let her get to me. She thought it was okay to talk down to me and treat me like a child. I have 4 kids of my OWN, no excuse to treat me like a child and never an excuse to talk down to me. Bitch is NOT better than me!! She has a LOT of skeletons in her closet she doesn't want me to lay bare. 

As time went by, my Aunt would be chill, then moody, okay then REALLY moody... I swear to God she is Bi-Polar. FUCK!! She was driving me CRAZY!! 

My daughter who is 21, had a baby almost 3 years ago, a beautiful little girl. When she was pregnant, my Aunt would be so ignorant to her. She'd tell her she was a fucking fool, stupid, she ruined her life, she was a fucking retard, abort the baby, adopt the baby out and so on... she completely hurt my daughter's feelings. My daughter would DREAD seeing my Aunt. I would tell my Aunt to stop it, shut up, stop being ignorant and stop being abusive... it's just WHO SHE IS. 

She has NO kids of her own, I swear if she did, they'd be buried in a back yard someplace. She HATES kids, ALL kids until they're mature, working adults. She has a HATE ON for men too! She's been single I am pretty sure all of her life. 

I helped my daughter get all the things she'd need for her baby, bought her so many beautiful clothes, mostly in PINK, because I LOVE pink and all little girls should wear pink. I decorated a room for her and threw my daughter a lovely baby shower. I had a cake special made in the shape of a baby onsie in pink. It was so much fun! My Aunt was invited but of course, never showed up, never sent a card or gift, just completely ignored the party and baby all together. 

When my daughter went into labour, I went to the hospital with her, I got to witness the entire birth and cut the baby's cord! It was an amazing experience. Sure is different when you're on the other side witnessing a birth than it is to give birth. My Aunt didn't give two shits when I tried to tell her. All she said was, "leave the fucking kid there and adopt it out." HOLY FUCK, REALLY!?!? I was PISSED and hung up on her. 

I didn't speak to her for a few weeks after that. She came to my house, acting like nothing happened and asked me to go to the city with her for shopping. I went with her, thinking it would be a good time to talk to her about how she'd been treating my daughter and baby. The conversation didn't go well. She was moody, as per usual. So, I just did shopping with her and went home after. 

Sometimes you just can't talk any kindness or sense into people. They're built how they're built and feel how they feel. Sometimes you can't change them. So, I gave up trying. She's been this angry, mean person all my life, she's not going to change at this point. 

My daughter refused to go anywhere near her and so did my other 3 kids. 

I've seen my Aunt, spent time with her in between then and now. She was okay for a while then just the other day FREAKED OUT over something so God damn petty. I finally had enough of her shit and told her ass off. I told her not to be treating me like shit, not to talk down to me and not to play her petty little games of I'm a control freak and can control MY life. NOPE, SORRY BITCH! YOU can NOT control shit in my life. I control my life. I am a grown ass, adult woman with kids. I live on my own, I work hard for what I have and do NOT deserve to be treated poorly by a moody, 63 year old woman who is MISERABLE with her own life. Don't take your shit out on me. Life doesn't work that way. 

I blocked her messages and number on my cell phone, because that's her IMMATURE, FAVOURITE way to be a moody, abusive BITCH to me. She doesn't have any social media, so I don't have to block her on any of that. And so help me God, if she tries to come to my door acting like a psycho, I'll put her in check REAL QUICK. (No, that doesn't mean violence, means My WORDS will put her ass back in her place; where it belongs).  

I haven't spoken to my so called "Father" in 14 years or any of his abusive, crazy ass family. I haven't spoken to my mom since 2 weeks before she died in 2004. If I can manage to BLOCK all of my "Father's" family out of my life and not give two fucks about them and lose my mom, I can sure as fuck walk away from my Aunt who I have more NEGATIVE memories with than positive ones. I'm a stubborn ass and will NOT make first contact once I block your ass out of my life. I'll just keep on keepin on without your ass. Brush ya off my shoulders and just live my life... It's a LOT quieter when you block and ban people from bringing negativity into your world. More relaxing and peaceful. I find it quite easy to do it.